Can i not drive my cunt home
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize