I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize