Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize