oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
