don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
