I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
