how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
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