You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize