i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
