Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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