I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
