Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
