we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
