My friends, they love my intelligence
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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