It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
