Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
