that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize