We're like a lot better than the average bears
My friends, they love my intelligence
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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