I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
