4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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