sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Farmville is her only friend.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
