if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
