Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
