Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
