You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
