why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize