my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
