I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
