She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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