She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
