I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
