WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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