No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
