i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
