I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
