You work out of a Hotel?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
