I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
