I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
