I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
