1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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