I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
