It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
