Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize