He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
