Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
