I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
