Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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