I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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