he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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