Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
