are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
