You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i now understand why vodka
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
