Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
we made out on top of his cat.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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