it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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