so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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