therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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