It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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