I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
